I want to make several changes to the version of the script that I recently posted
Firstly I need to write some concrete dialogue for the beginning of the scene between Sam and an unnamed friend character. This is designed to clue the audience into Sam's intentions in the piece as it will make it clear that she is looking for Danny it also makes the party seem bigger than it actually is which is a definite plus.
Secondly I don't like the argument that I have written between Danny and Sam. I think it might be either due to the length of it as it is very short or the fact that the text just doesn't convey the correct level of emotion that the characters would be feeling at the time and this would mean that the scene would either feel odd or would just feel that it hadn't been earned as the scene hadn't reached an emotional climax and so the audience won't connect with the audience
Finally there a few lines says Danny's "Yeah that was my exact reaction" which don't quite work with the characters either because they sound too formal or because they almost sound too flippant and this could harm the tone of the piece. In addition to this I will have to be careful with length when adding new dialogue as I would rather not have to cut the script down at a later date as this would just mean I had wasted some time
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