There are several things I would like to change about the second draft of the script that I recently posted.
Firstly I deleted the ending dialogue as I felt it was too cheesy this might have been a bit extreme to start from scratch but I think it was best as it would have felt odd otherwise as the two halves would have to be blended together which might cause issues
Secondly I want to further tweak the argument again as I still feel its lacking a certain amount of drama that is necessary at that point in the script this might be fixed by introducing a degree of foul language as this limited use would be effective but I must be careful as it might seem over the top if I use to much of it
Finally I wan to show it to the actors I have cast as I want the dialogue to be as realistic as possible and so I want them to feel comfortable with the dialogue and because of this I want them to comment on the lines and change them where necessary to increase this realism.
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